Edit

I tagged the last post with Schedule.

Change of Plans

Musc Theory is too early to get there by bus easily, so I decided an AA in General Studies would be better.  I am not so sure about the Student Work.  I think I wanna focus on school and getting it done cuz it's a lotta work.  I know I have no credit in math and science.  I need 2 classes each.  Also, a speech or communications course, English II, and if my other Liberal GS courses don't work.  I might do english and math in the summer.  I did 2 summer courses in high school.  These courses are not as much on memorizing and probably aren't as hard.. like their writing.  They tend to just adjust your writing as pleasured.  Will be nice to get it over with with a good B.  I will try A, tho, of course.  Also, this is supposedly the more academic community college.

FAFSA

I submitted it!  I will supposedly get about $15,000 for each summer and spring.  I did sign up for Work Study, but we'll see if I'll last, like if they have part time work.

Summer, will probably take 2 ed courses for Summer A..  We'll see about that, tho.  1 is online, and the other is 3 1/2 hours 2 days a week I think.  I'm very interested in the live class course.  Maybe, I will just take that Summer A.  I need 15 classroom hours in early June, I think.

Community College

The one I will take 2 Ed courses in the summer at and in the fall and spring music has an athletics thing you can check in and work out at tho.  Beats the stress of a graded class?  I bet there was ill will behind this particular cancelation, however.  I wanted to be able to do ballet.  Like to be safe.  My dad kept telling me I have to practice if ballet is a big dream.  It does take practice.  Don't want him driving me in old age like that, tho.

14-15 straight hours of sleep

Interesting Analyzation

I see Ellen on TV and she just says something easy and everyone claps and smiles.  Her job altogether is hard, tho, I feel.  I'm just saying the nature of it.  Like, she doesn't have to say something that wouldn't be entertaining if someone else said it.  She is entertaining, I mean.  I'm just talking about "what" she has to do, not much, cuz she's Ellen.  They are only laughing cuz -she- said it.

If I say something cool it's nothing and cuza race and worthless intelligence.

Been Missing

been missing Ellen on Mondays but will try to watch it if I can

Use me before it's too late.  My life is almost purposeless and futile.  Isn't that what you said?

I need to go to bed soon.

Nite!

Disney

After doing ab workouts, I don't know why, but I was desensitized to Space Mountain.  A kiddy ride?  That think used to freak me out!

I spent $10 and $15 and won 4 stuffed animals.  I gave 2 to my parents.  I am left with an orange turtle I like.  I'm on a pursuit with a plan.

Dr. Phil - Facebook

Whoever killed her obviously most likely knew her, and whoever was involved knew somebody.

---

Sense out criminals before they commit the crime.  How?  If you pay attention, you might sense things.

Why would the dad think he'd be in his daughter's will?  That cannot be a possibe motive for someone.  Someone at work could have done it.  Anyone fill in her position?

If the dad hired someone to do it, I dunno, it didn't make sense to me at 1st.  Did they get DNA?

Do they know who the dad knows?  You can't just go up to someone and tell them to do this.

It reminds me of the case of Jon Benet Ramsy.  :(  The parents did not seem dangerous.  My parents get upset at me I feel for no reason and it comes a time they need me to make social and emotional sacrifices for them to "feel good," while I wait in punishment and they work out the kinks.  The only thing I can say that explains my case is that they think "the real world" will be worse on me.  I think my Gramma thought that my mom would be killed by the people in Orlando with the stress of cancer.  When I thought things she did not like, she made annoying noises that pinpointed my mom's cancer.  That can't be good.  I'd get in secret trouble.  My relatives are at me, I feel.  I got upset at my gramma.  If I had to blame anyone for my mom's death would be herself, my dad, and famous people, but in that order of suspect of what really did it and what was out of control.  My dad boasts almost killing his sister.  I'd like to see that get on national television.  I was conscious at 3 years old, too.  I guess he just had hate.  I think my dad wants more of a relationship with me before I get old and leave home and the rest of his life is different.  Okay, so if I die we blame the burgers, but it was done with variety.  I don't know what got into me.  I wasn't finished growing up.  The diet I was on sustained me thru much of my young adult life.  I just was tired, don't cook, and was under the impression to leave the table.  I don't turn over thoughts of inappropriate behavior.  I'm GONE!

I wonder if the dad has any known friends like himself who would do it.  I also care if he didn't do it, but this could prove him innocent.

I hope my post is okay.

Check out my makeover!

Imgur

New Picture of Me

Imgur

I don't think these people wanna talk to me who are experimenting on me.  What can I think?

So Lonely

People keep telling me I'm what I'm not.

Edit

I added a new tag to the last post, Apologies.

D:

I guess I've calmed down.

Sorry 'bout that.  It's crrazy here in Central Florida.

Shower!

Oh, boo hoo!  There are people watching me.

Problem

They keep controlling my mind and get so mad if I get a little upset as I shrug off their thoughts.

HOW DO I SHRUG OFF THE THOUGHTS?

Chances in Life Stored Away

Seeing as I am a social critter and my chances are high, I don't want the members of this experiment to be able to blow it.  I do not play the game, if I say something I don't like it has to happen.  You won't get far along.  And you are not my boss over me.  What do I speak of?  Making a good impression on people who really like me.

Psychologically Well

I don't really claim to have ever had a problem simply by the fact that someone other than me is getting attention.  I a psychologically well, IMO (in my opinion.)

I had something interesting to say but forget - ah, yes, if it's to punish me for cursing about noises in my room I get mad.  If it's that I'm in trouble every time I walk into the room or do/say something, I get mad.

They want me to look bad like others.  It might sound crazy, but if it weren't so then they wouldn't feel guilty reading this and do something to offend me or hurt my feelings just to make themselves feel better that they are right.

I know there are people out there who do this.  Who, I don't seem to know.  Well, I'm not afraid to point my finger.

I'm worthless!

Did you know people tell me I am not worth it to my face in my place?  A ha ha!  Imagine if all you were told that.  }:)  A ha ha!  Fine!  It must be race.

No, I am thankful to have anything and daunted by its authority over mine.  I do not really get the peace I deserve, tho.  I was great.  I dunno what's not in it in other folks.  Jokes.

Don't go dig into my life and take it the wrong way.  I had my turn, but I never get what I wanted.  I just didn't know that I should not take a lotta courses in college.  It's not as important as passing..

What goes on in my life now is pretty bad.  I do things, right, on my blog, but what is allowed to go on around me is preposterous.  People tackle me as soon as I enter the room.  My relationships are severed and beaten at.  I can't even reign free thought without some pip squeak of a reaction emitting from some far reach of this universe.  "It's all 'related.'"  No, it wasn't.  I just said I couldn't even think about anything social in my life without running into a road block that seems to lead to more road blocks.

Why does all the babying go to the Late Boomers?  Parents got us on a line?

Recollections

I remember forgotten periods of time in PreK after peeling the skin off my finger and it just stung to be that way so much.

Health

10/15 minutes Killer Abs

salad - lettuce head, carrots, green and black olives, oil

I do have other veggies to add.

Football

I should start watching football more often.

Post by Seattle Seahawks.

Congratulations to the #SB49 champion @Patriots. Great game. #NEvsSEA #SB49 pic.twitter.com/UBQkQdr0df
— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) February 2, 2015

New Photo of Me

Imgur

How Bad Can It Get??

This is the worst it could get.  I'm not really alone, I can't go about the house freely without feeling m*****ed or something.  I want company, and it's not exactly an arm's length away.  I have to walk thru the stone castle and bump into armor along the way.

Dr. Phil - Facebook

Australia, wow!  Women over there have it good in certain ways not shared with people in the US really.  Yet, I think there are a lotta equally good women here.

Dr. Phil - Facebook

response to fan

I would say that people in Scandinavia and other European countries are upheld over others of mixed races.  Then, it would be the girls as the weaker side and the men as the caregiving side in other ways.  Women are more sympathetic, tho.  America is abnormal and spoils its youth.  Dr. Phil's show is something like watching Forensic Files, Jail, Campus PD, etc.  The flip side of concern is that they will spoil teenagers over young adults, for example, not always just al the girls over all the boys.

Edit

I edited my list of people to put Johnny Depp's last name in, not sure what happened.

Being Native American

I was thinking about being indian and that no one seems to innately know more than others about sorta lining the issues up about people with indian.  They would just pick like a baby doll as like a car model to shout out orders.  Like with me, people go in and say what you expect them to say about me.  No one ever has anything to offer me as a person.  They just know I'm related to an indian father and Dutch Chinese-Indonesian mother.  I'd have to say my mom is more white than my dad except that my dad possesses actual European traits from a Caucasian race.  I wonder if his mom had problems.  With her, the indian came from her dad, also, and none from her mom, tho her mom also had Ashkenazi Jewish I think.  I don't know why my dad has a harder time being indian than my mom has being Chinese, except I know it's easier to be all one ethnicity, like it's more attractive.  I bet a lotta mixed ethnicities without minor European ethnicities are part Native American indian or like Ashkenazi Jewish.

Dr. Phil - Facebook

to fan

A word we learned when I was young was "thug."  He does help more model-type girls in abuse stories recently but also involving different kinds of guys.  I felt he was rather masculine like say 1/2 the time.  The boys don't seem to have as many problems and probably don't write in as much.  I'd like to get on there myself.

M***********

I discovered something.  You can do it more than once, and you think you only need to do it once.. but do it more and it could become addictive, like smoking and drinking.

Edit

I rearranged the bottom tags.

Stars
Movies
TV
Friends

Stories
Food

What You're Forgetting

If you wanna look like Marilyn Monroe, it's not about looking like her technically but capturing the same electrifying spirit.

I'm saving up.

I can get a great $600 computer in March.  It even is a touch screen PC!  I was gonna get a laptop but was recommended this.

I'm going to bed soon.

The Key Differences of the New vs. Before Ellen

She is more strict today in the messages she sends or how she acts.  Before, she was in some ways more warm and fuzzy.  I haven't really watched her before that much.

Song

"It's My Life" by No Doubt

"caught in the crowd" all dreamy and romantic in life - not dreamy as in tired or sleepy..

So, I tried hard to make myself and myself in my environment good and good socially and exciting and right.  I didn't whine and complain.  Why am I suffering more now?  It's like people chickened out in morality.  Like, I'm good but I can like get upset to myself then you supposedly "nice" people all nod that I'm bad?  What do I have left to turn to?  The bad guys?

Dr. Phil - Facebook

(daughter blaming dad for homicide)

I wonder if it will peak over the level of accusations I've held against others.

Eating Too Much or Too Little

I don't know what that means, but I don't know how much nutrition you need tho I take vitamins.

Growing Up

I'm listening to "It's My Life" by No Doubt.  I missed things like Barney and people my age were listening to them, a restricted band.  People depreciated them, even during school.

Football

I used to play ball with my dad, and I was respected as a kid but not now, like I finally don't matter.  That's what we did as kids, we had to get up and throw the ball back and forth to each other, like the highlight of visiting with my younger girl cousin etc.

Happy Girl

I saw a girl who looked so happy in Orlando, she was skinny with nice colorful hair but not like reddish too much and bouncing along feeling all approved of cuz she's in shape like I was as a kid.

Yes, I realize we could easily get in shape and be happy like her.  We just have to turn on Jillian Michaels for 10 minutes a day?  (+ I jog for an hour a day usually, unless I'm busy/out.)

Romanticism can be black.

They have that cartoon of Langston Hughes, a jazz writer I think, and he looks "white" racially.  Anyway, I see his skinny hands at the typewriter.  He is romanticized as being supportive of the "heart" of New Orleans, as black people provide for others.

Racial Decision

Black people carry the burden of providing the world with their intelligence.  They don't have the Asian genes and have the more Caucasian look with their noses not being infantile in structure/size/ability to be how they are.  Lotta Europe mixed with China.  However, they have mixed emotions about being black.  :|  I take pride in my tan, but I try to keep it fair.  I don't do it with "drugs."  I use sunblock.  I'm stil strong.

Popular/Cool Kids

I remember when I was in my 1st year of junior hi, 6th grade, age 11/12, I was working the cotton candy stand for the 1st time I volunteered, like a grown-up, and I saw the most popular girl singing with a group of kids from performance school Beauty and the Beast.  I sorta made fun of it but not very outwardly, just like I was surprised.  I lived in the nation's oldest continuing city, in Northeastern Florida, just under the major city.

Also, I did a cute science project on sustaining cut flowers.  My 2 best friends who USED to be my best friend won along with the most cool girl who just moved from LA maybe.


I must add that the 1st had honey hair and the 2nd had white hair.

A New Purpose

Remember in the 2000s when people were all futuristic and believing in what they did?  Supportive and took stances of leadership?  We were treated with grace and glory for whatever we did, be it little and small?

Battery of Emotion

Younger people need a battery of emotion in younger age so they can carry on when they are older and lead the younger generations.

And then they still stand tall and say they are the one with the faith and strength.

They just have to be everything.  You can see them literally fall down.

Why waste time on teenagers giving them pleasure when older youth didn't get that?  They aren't too old.

Like at the last second, the teenagers get the answer, and it's some form of indulgence.

It's funny when teenagers make a statement, and like no one really wants to turn on.

They encourage us to be like them, but they really don't want that to happen, themselves.  They don't know we were discouraged our whole lives.

They're like little dancing twigs with bad breath.

Twitter

@RobinRevelation Relationships can be carefree/monotonous, affected/unaffected by outside sources, too little/much, approved or not..
— Christina Barrett (@Christina4333) February 1, 2015

National Anthem @ Super Bowl

Idina Menzel, the Queen in Frozen

I'm slightly sad I won't be seeing it.

Dr. Phil - Twitter

Good things to think about: "your worth and your value."

---

to fan

The other 2 daughters were pretty sweet..

---

to fan

Maybe, that girl wants a more mature mom.

Dr. Phil - Facebook

That's very smart.  Too many people forget their "self-worth."

---

(mother with teens posting pix of her in bikinis I think as a teen on her Facebook)

It is rather a matter of consequence.

Edit

I reordered my Tags.  I bumped Ballet to right below Music.  :)

Game Day

Hey, ya'll, watchin' the football?

That should be like the only thing on ya'll's mind.  So, gather 'round!

:)  I see you.  Do  you see me?

A great game day!  I am anticipating the Seahawks!  I remember last year's game.

So, what do you think?

Nite Soon

IMDb - The Soapbox

Re: Street fights are illegal. So this is what I will do. I will put up

LOL Dr. Phil wants to talk face to face with the criminal to save his soul. 

My Place

I found I was more of a Cindy Brady girl than the ever stimulating Jan Brady with Marcia Brady.  I feel like I'm taking a course.  I love people who have moms who are the same age as a Brady child..

I looked at the extras in Angels in the Outfield and I know it's just people in LA trying to hang a string of toys over the heads of people in Florida.  They made it all seem like some big scene, but they were mean people.  Like, they make it, and the somehow know I'm 1/2 Chinese + the part Native American indian.

Weird Experience

Child Fund, pay for a child, I jotted that down.

I see all these Spanish kids and it's like they're better off than me.  8|

People think I'm bad news.

Google had a display for a writer Langston Hughes from about 1900-1960.  He looks "mulatto" or African-American.  He wrote during the key forming times of our country, jazz and writing stuff about his world.

Let's just say.

I'm a good guy.

If I'm bad, I'm still not a bad guy.  It's something like an accident, really.  Or yer wrong.

Smart Quote

Angels in the Outfield

We can believe in God but not angels?

Ellen is not like she can say what's right and wrong for everyone and be the only one who makes sense supposedly.  Everyone has special interests.  We're not Chinese anime, all thinking we should be the same.

Ellen was cool cuz she didn't mind being fat, but supposedly us younger people we were okay because we were safe to be skinny.  Someone is missing something.

Boys

They have more muscle and therefore more energy to do thinking work, like business.

Nice, Dreamy Music

Angels in the Outfield

Musta been something important.  :p

*SIGH*

It does not matter if someone born in the 1940s cares lovingly about you.  Do you want the only people old enough to be your parents be LATE Boomers?  YOU WANT THE WHOLE PACKAGE!

I know why movies are more important than TV.  They pluck out talent in kids and train it in movies.  TV is for appearances of spoiled people.

"Kids Today"

Those people who are about 17.  We had things like Angels in the Outfied and Finding Nemo.  It was special then.  Now, it's work cut out.  But not for the 17-year-olds who make fun of us.  They think they are more grown up but they don't do nothing.  They talk and they fall back and are supported by all the facts of life, no meddling leadership pranks.  Saying like to us, no saying this to them.. oh all this leadership, we're not there for you.

Angels in the Outfield (movie)

Before, they encouraged people who simply did what was told and respected dads born around 1950.  That's what the dads/men from 1960 said.

Also, it was like supposedly genius to have an angel make the baseball bounce around at its own will.  Reminds me of a moment that is popular with like Ellen, that it makes a statement against people like me who can't say they are something cuz they ain't born around 1960.  Ellen can do whatever she wants and get away with thinking anything.  That would hurt a lotta people's feelings to read this.  Like, ooh look you are a boring person and I think it's funny that we see a baseball bounce around cuz it means it's what's to smile about in ba'eball.  That can't even happen.  Why not be happy about what else we were doing at the moment?  Ha ha.  I'm so sorry.  I would prefer not to mention her name, but I didn't know how else to make my point..my point.  ;o

sho'rtime!

Girls born around 1970 like girls born in the late 1950s like a mom.

This singer was born specifically 1971.

If I unsettle people with my Floridian heritage, then I'd say I have been off'd by others's.  Floridians are northerners a lot.  They think I can't represent it because it'd be unsettling, but they already are unsettling.  Wrong reason, huh?

Aliens

So, they found little pellets inside people with faint memories of being abducted by aliens.  They are skinnier than Barbies and all gray with slanted eyes.  They left a residue of fat and protien.  It was a pink powder on one lady's dress.  People get abducted outside probably after midnight or real late.  One lady asked where they were from, and they presented a map.  About 10 years later, they discovered this star system and it was the same.

They sure make a good mom, the women born around 1970.

It's clear

babies with parents born around 1950 are in love with people born around 1960, like Ellen DeGeneres.  What's in the minds of teens today, tho?

Who were the "teens" or "tweens" when you were a toddler/small child??

I guess it'd be 2 groups of people, I know females born around 1960 and maybe 1970.  Men, you have those magiciany guys born maybe in between those times.  You know, it's the snazzy aunt born around 1960 or the meditative youthful adult who seems to have been a teen when you were born.

How's a singer supposed to live?

I should be a leader, a top seller, or something.

Not Much

for hymns like Morning Has Broken (This Day God Gives Me.)

Wow

The Ash Grove, every recording is good!  It's a European folk song!  That sounds likeable to Americans.

I'm looking at classical singing, and I would have used to have been excited to attain an opportunity of doing this.  It's not opera, tho.

Get your hands on the crystalline voice of a young woman born in the early 1970s and you've got chaos at the tips of your fingers.  It's just such a big thing and something of a gem to get one of them who sings like an angel.  Like, all of a sudden it's important over others and other things.

Most food is mostly nutrition.  I knew every little thing does something.  My salads only have oil on them.

Understand Fighting

On Family Guy, they kept physically fighting.  It seems like a sport.  PLAY BA'KET BALL!

I know I got fat from medicine and certain phases of life.  Otherwise, I was not really that big.  I may seem daunting.

The 20/20 Diet

I read the intro, chapter 1, and chapter 2.

Dr. Phil?

..philosophizes in a $28 book all about what nutrition is/does and I can just have grain cereal for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and something from a health cookbook for dinner?

Disclaimer, that is part of what I eat.  I do get hunger bursts and am trying to get taller.

Good Idea

Don't eat that bacon in the morning.  But I already prodded someone for their baking bacon.  I mean, it can be good.  I know my pills make me fat.  Bacon tastes good when not cooked that much.  I dunno..  There are also lotta bacon burgers out there....

My friend's mom said she could not believe there's a diet that lets you eat bacon.  It was so the grapefruit has something to burn.

I could diet to doom's day, but why miss out on the grub?  *looks around*  What's it for?  What happened to "Eat, drink, and be merry?"  You picture like the next step past the stone age where you see kings and royalty eating loaves of bread and cups of wine.

I really don't know.. I mean if you took away my bacon but gave me cake, that wouldn't make any sense to me.  I have juggled around "what" I give up at different times.  For instance, I barely ever have soda these days.  I don't buy a bag of cheese chips every week.  "I don't eat candy" but sometimes.  People think it's my race that makes me disgusting.

I do agree that diets are not about eating less.  That is called fasting.

The 20/20 Diet

Dr. Phil says food is not to be used for celebration nor like pleasure, only nutrition.  I can reach in my sack and come up with a counter statement I believe that says you need fats, oils, and sweets to support your metabolism.  I also find something funny because I actually live to eat.  I do not understand because food that is nutritious does taste good, except weird things like peppers and big pieces of tomatos.

It seems life's romance is all about people like Ellen DeGeneres.  Put it in fast mode!  I was inspired.  I read something. Her brother Vance was in a movie or something I think called "Crazy, Stupid, Love."  Did you know the music sounds the same all at her ride at Disney Epcot, Space Mountain, and the Simpsons??

Facebook - Barb Barrett

You seem to be good at relaxing. You could teach my dad a thing or 2 around this house. LOL. Men seem more uppity than you'd think. My dad and friend's dad were gonna see who could eat more, and her mom was lke, "No, no." Men, always up to something.

---

Wow, I could never do that, how sad. I can't be in this musical I like that requires roller skating. How do kids get up and do that? I have roller blades but don't like doing it on the sidewalk.